30 December 2015

The Fastest 2 Months of my Life + Sawyer's Birth Video

Who pressed the fast forward button? Can you please kindly turn it off, because these days are flying. I feel like we brought Sawyer home yesterday, and he turned 2 months old on the 27th. 2 months! He is no longer a newborn but a little infant with a personality and he fills me up with so much joy every single day.

Guys, let me be real. Those first few days weeks were BRUTAL. I didn't know if I was cut out for motherhood. The exhaustion, learning to nurse, the hormones, the LONELINESS that comes with being alone all day with a tiny human who needs so much. It all adds up and is incredibly difficult. I really struggled through our first weeks together, wondering when it was going to become as wonderful and rewarding as everyone said it would.

Ya'll. That day came. And it just keeps becoming more and more overwhelming to me. I truly feel like I didn't exist before him. I know that sounds dramatic, and it probably is at some level, but the love and adoration I feel for this tiny little person is all-consuming!

New mamas out there that are sitting in the trenches of those early days, know this, it gets better. So much freaking better. There is no shame in wondering what the heck you're doing, and wondering if you really are cut out for motherhood. You are, and then some. And one day, you'll wake up, hold your child, and you will think your heart might actually break with the love you feel. And then you'll take a solo trip to Target without anyone melting down and you will realize this, you are CRUSHING motherhood. :)

Sawyer is our big guy. He is 13.13 pounds, 25 inches long, in the 99th percentile for height! He had a checkup today, and is healthy as can be, but it was vaccination day and it broke my HEART! Those tears will wreck you. Our pediatrician likes to say that he certainly doesn't miss a meal, and she couldn't be more correct! Baby loves to nurse! He is still exclusively breastfed, something i'm so proud of because it was incredibly difficult in the beginning, but we found our groove! Now i'm thankful for those moments just he and I, I know I will miss them when i'm back to work.

Speaking of back to work, I can't believe 3 weeks from today will be my first day back. I'm so not ready. In those first days I couldn't wait to be back. I was tired, hungry, and craved some adults to talk to. Now I truly wonder how i'm going to survive! My little buddy and I have found such a great routine, it's going to be really hard knowing he is continuing that routine without me, but I love my work and I will remember that in the tough moments. 

Sleep is still a little rough around here. We try to stick to a 3 hour schedule, and this kid is pretty adamant about it. We transitioned him officially to his crib over the weekend, and he hasn't done too bad. For us, cry it out isn't an option so as we're getting him comfortable in his room, there is a lot of back and forth soothing him down and reminding him that his crib is a safe place to be! His bedtime routine is bath, lotion rub down, story, nurse, rest. We try to have him asleep by 9:00, but generally, he is up every 20 minutes until about midnight, then he'll sleep 3 hour stretches until about 7:00. That's when Jake leaves for work and i've missed by baby cuddles so much all night I get him out of his crib and we snuggle until breakfast. :)

Sawyer has developed such a personality this month! He loves his puppy. He watches in amazement as Axl darts around, and Ax is generally very gentle around the baby. Sawyer's favorite time of day is bath time and it is SO precious! He laughs and splashes and kicks as of the past week, and it melts me! Watching him as he discovers the world is the highlight of my life.

I was trying to think of all of the things I didn't want to forget from the last month, and I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to forget anything. Nothing! I want to remember the way his hair smells when i'm holding him to my chest in the middle of the night, and the way he snores when he is finally asleep. I don't want to forget the way he kicks his legs in the bathtub and rolls his eyes back getting his hair washed. I always want to remember the way he looks at us first thing in the morning, going between a sleepy mean mug that doesn't want to be awake yet, and the warmest "happy to see you" smile you've ever seen. I want to remember his little unibrow and hairy ears (he takes after daddy!) and his chubby tummy that I give kisses to every diaper change!

Our sweet guy loves the ceiling fan, his carseat bugs, bath time, and the mobile in his crib. He is happiest being snuggled by mom or dad, and loves hanging out on daddy's shoulder more than any other place. He would nurse 24 hours a day if I let him, and it shows on those delicious leg rolls of his! He does not like going to sleep, the hours of 3:00-5:00 (holy shoot the witching hour is real!) and when I make him wait 1 minute longer than he wants to when it's time to eat!

He is the absolute light of our lives, and these have been the best 2 months i've ever had.

Now that we've finally found our groove, I got around to editing his birth video, the best and hardest day of my life! You can watch below, and if you're interested in reading his full birth story, click over HERE!

 Thanks for catching up with us!

Until Next Time,


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