Okay, onto the birth story.
I guess I can begin this story Last February when we took 5 pregnancy tests within an hour, and much to our disbelief, they were all positive. We had been trying for months to get pregnant, and after a visit to the doctor and a round of progesterone, we finally were! It's hard to know if it was the hormones, God's timing, or just a mix of the both, all we knew is that we were insanely excited to start a family, and we were being blessed with our first Rosebud.
Through the weeks of pregnancy, we both grew more and more excited, I grew more and more uncomfortable, and well, I just grew in general. At our 39 week appointment, I was 95% effaced, and 3.5 cm dilated, and so we made the decision that if he hadn't come on his own, we would induce labor the following week on October 27th, 2015. We were ecstatic! I know people have mixed feelings about induction, which I understand, but we had complete trust in our doctor and knew it wouldn't be an option unless it was safe for our little man, and I was in such an incredible amount of pain every day, I was just ready to meet him!
Every day became a waiting game, both of us hoping that I would go into labor on my own, but every day passed and this little guy wasn't budging. The week went surprisingly fast, and before you know it, we were waking up on the day before our induction date, wondering what to do with our last 24 hours child-free. Jake went into the office in the morning to wrap some things up before he took a few weeks off, and for the first time in months, I slept! It was a blessing straight from the Lord himself, and I slept until almost 10:00 AM, and spent the rest of the morning catching up on shows, lounging, and packing the hospital bag for the 500th time.
We decided we wanted to have one more date night, but with a 4:00 AM induction, it needed to be the early bird special so we could at least try to get a wink or two of sleep before the big day. My sister was staying at our house with Axl while we were in the hospital, so she came over to hang out with our fur-child, and we headed to Outback Steakhouse (my favorite ever) for a nice steak dinner. Problem was, we both had so much nervous energy for the next day we could hardly eat.
I can't believe how big I was in these pictures! It's crazy what has changed in 2 weeks! After dinner, we were both electric with anticipation, so we went to walk around Target and buy a few things that Lord knows we didn't need, but it was seriously a magical night. We laughed and goofed around like teenagers, and it just reminded me that I married the best guy in the world, and I was so excited for the day ahead.
We were back home by 8:00 PM, and Jake went to reinstall the carseat for the 20th time (someone was nervous) and we brushed our teeth, said prayers for the next day, and tried to drift off to sleep.
October 27th, 2015
2:45 AM: My alarm went off, but I had been awake most of the night. Who sleeps when they know their life is about to change?! I nudged Jake awake and went pee for the 9th time that hour. We slowly started getting ready for the morning, Jake loading the hospital bags in the car, while I braided my hair and snuck in some extra Axl cuddles. We live just 10 minutes from the hospital, so about 3:40, we scooped up our dog, and I started crying kissing him goodbye. (pathetic) Side note- I didn't think Ax would move so low on the love totem pole once Sawyer arrived. Sorry, pups!
I knew the hospital wouldn't let me eat once we arrived, and that I had one hell of a day ahead, but I was so incredibly nervous it was all I could do to scarf down a granola bar. I paid for that later. We pulled into the hospital just before 4:00 and got checked into our room.
Pretty sweet digs, amiright?! I felt like we were in some sort of suite because this place was massive! I got changed into my hospital gown, got in bed, and almost pooped my pants I was so full of nerves.
6:00 AM, after tons of paperwork, getting admitted, and having to go through 2 nurses to find an adequate vein, my IV was finally placed, and a bag of fluid was flowing before they started my Pitocin. By 6:30, they started pitocin, but I really wasn't feeling a whole lot, so we just updated family, and Jake caught a few zz's before the action started.
I give Jake such a hard time for this picture. He really was the biggest rockstar of all birthing partners, but early in the morning, he was barely hanging on ;)
7:30 AM: My pitocin drip was still fairly low, and I was feeling some consistent cramping, but nothing crazy intense. This was when my doctor made her way in to break my water, and then the real fun started! Your water breaking is the weirdest feeling of all time. It doesn't really hurt, you would think someone shoving a crochet hook up your lady parts would be a whole lot more traumatic, but really, it's just a pop and a warm gush. I was surprised that it really wasn't just a single gush, I was gushing fluids all.day.long. These are the things no one tells you!
8:00 AM Contractions were getting real. I wanted to labor for awhile, until I was at least halfway there, but my nurse informed me that the anesthesiologist's had a very busy day and if I didn't have my epidural placed by 10:00 it might be several hours before I could get one. With the contractions getting more intense, I decided to just put the request in, knowing it would be about an hour before he could even get up to me. Thank.God.I.Did. With all the fluids pumping through my veins, I had to pee something fierce, but the pain was getting a little out of control so Jake helped me out of bed, and I decided to thank him by gushing more amniotic fluid all over his feet. Sorry babe.
9:00 AM I was in pain. I had progressed to a 5.5, and contractions were about 5 minutes a part. This is when I asked Jake to go out to the nurses station just to make sure that my epidural request was submitted, there was no way I was going to make it another hour.
9:30 AM The sweet, sweet anesthesiologist finally arrived and placed my Epidural. When I sat up on my bed, more amniotic fluid gushed onto the floor, and at this point I was so humbled by the lack of modesty I had that I didn't even care. The epidural was a breeze! Seriously, it didn't hurt a bit, and I was so hopeful that it would relieve some of the pain I was in. The hardest part was sitting still through contractions while it was placed, but it was totally the easiest part of the day. They placed my bed flat to let the medicine get to work. It only took on one side of my body at first, but I was hardly numb. I had total sensation in my legs, they were tingly at best. They gave me 30 minutes before I was supposed to be "nice and numb" before placing my catheter.
10:00 AM Everything went downhill from here! I could still feel my legs, and although the contractions were bearable, I definitely could feel them as they happened. When my nurse came in to place my catheter, the second she began I asked "am I supposed to feel this?! This really hurts!" She was baffled that I could feel it, but we also think she was a little inexperienced because she just kept on going, even though I was very obviously in a lot of pain! I could feel the tubing up my lady parts and it was so uncomfortable, and something about it made each contraction 10 times stronger. I was beginning to think it was going to be a very, very long day.
12:00 PM Exhaustion had started to kick in pretty strong, and I was praying out loud every 10 minutes or so, "God, give me the energy to get through this day!" A new nurse came in and checked to see how progressed I was, and we were at 100% effacement and 8 CM dilated! Yahoo! This gave me a little extra boost. But then came transition.
1:00 PM Everything really became real at this point. It was clear that my epidural was not working as it was supposed to. Remember how I said the anesthesiologist was having a very busy day? Around 8 CM dilated, I was shaking uncontrollably, bawling my eyes out, looking at Jake and telling him there was no way I was going to survive pushing in this much pain. The only way I know how to describe it is your body being ripped apart from the inside out. We had requested that the anesthesiologist come take a look at why I was in so much pain, but it was a good hour before he could make it up.
2:00 PM The anesthesiologist came in and put a sedative/different medication into my epidural. This was a lifesaver. The pain was so horrendous at this point that I was begging them to just take the baby out of me! Once the new meds got to work, I was a little drunk, but finally out of pain. I closed my eyes to catch a few moments of rest, and then I informed the room that if I wasn't already married, I would marry that anesthesiologist on the spot!
2:30 PM At this point Nurse Amy came in to check where we were at, and I could have squealed with joy when she said 10 CM and time for a practice push! Everyone got into position very quickly, and Amy had me push with all my might. Let me tell you, pushing is hard. Holding your breath for ten seconds while giving something all of your strength is not for the faint of heart. She saw his head on my first push, but the subsequent 2 were not-so-great. Amy told it as it was! The problem was the medicine that the anesthesiologist placed just 30 minutes before, was completely taking away my awareness of when a contraction was happening. I couldn't feel the pressure to push, so it was hard to give it my all. Nurse Amy said we could start pushing now, but we might be pushing for awhile. Or we could turn the epi off and sit me up and see if that intensified the feeling. We made the decision to turn my pitocin up, and my epidural off, and give it an hour before pushing for "real."
3:00 PM The pressure started. I could feel the need to push like something i've never experienced before. I told Jake, "YOU BETTER GO GET A NURSE BECAUSE THIS BABY IS COMING NOW!" There was no physical way to hold in the pushes. It was incredible, really. My body completely took over and knew exactly what to do. I was feeling about 75% of the contraction at this point, which were coming every 1 minute or so, and although the pain was definitely a 10/10, focusing on not pushing helped me get through each one.
3:10 PM My favorite Nurse, Nurse Amy, was in another room with another first time mom who had been pushing for awhile but wasn't progressing very quickly. I told her she better glove up because I can't hold this baby in another minute. She checked things out, and quickly paged my doctor and said "this baby is coming, NOW, hurry!" Nurse Amy looked me square in the eyes and said "don't prove me wrong! I told Doctor Fry to hurry, so make me proud." My competitive steak came out and I was ready to bring out this boy!
3:20 PM Finally, my doctor arrived, and she was baffled at the nurses, she said "I thought we were pushing in 1243?!" Nurse: "We were, but this baby is coming now!" Dr. Fry got prepared, and just a few minutes later, it was time.
3:25 PM I was practically screaming that I was going to start pushing whether they liked it or not. It was 25 minutes from the time I said I couldn't hold him in any longer, but looking back, i'm grateful for the waiting, because it made the pushing so much quicker. With every contraction I pushed with all of my might, listening to Amy count down, 10...9...8...7, and then giving me my quick breather before she said "go again!" It was an out of body experience, really. I could hear Jake and my sister saying "he is almost here! He has so much hair! You're doing so good!" But it's like I closed my eyes and focused on one thing and one thing only, pushing. That is, until all that pushing was about to push all those ice chips out of me. I yelled, "get me a bed pan!" and Jake rushed over with a barf bag, where I took a few minutes to throw up nothing but water before getting back to business.
3:30 We were back to pushing and all of a sudden I felt the strongest pressure i've ever felt in my life. His head was out, and Dr. Fry said "you can take a rest if you need to" but I couldn't. The pressure was so intense, those shoulders needed to come out NOW!
3:35 One last push with all of my might and I heard Dr. Fry say "this is a huge baby! He has got to be a 9 pounder! Where did you keep him?! The best little cry came screaming out of our son, and they placed him on my chest for what I then knew, was the best moment of my entire life.
Only 10 minutes of pushing, and we met our son. Just over 9 hours of labor. This boy was impatient like his mama, and ready to meet the world! The love hormones started instantly, and the entire day became so worth it in those moments. He laid on me, calm as can be, for an hour before Dad finally got to take his son and give him his first bath.
They weighed and measured our sweet little chubby boy, 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 20 inches of baby LOVE! Dr. Fry was busy cleaning me up, (only 1 2nd degree tear after pushing out an almost 9 pounder!) and I was aching for them to hurry up and give me back my baby.
Our chubby boy was wrapped up tight, with a cap on his head, and I got to nurse him, which is totally not as natural as everyone claims it to be. But here we are 2 weeks later, slowly but surely getting the hang of it.
Dad finally got to sit with us for our first time as a family of 3. I've never loved my husband as much as the day I looked into our sons face. This baby looks exactly like his daddy, and i've never loved anything more.
And there you have it. The hardest, most exhausting, most beautiful day of my entire life. Parenting a newborn has been the hardest experience ever, but every time he looks at me with his steel-grey infant eyes, I feel so much adoration for this tiny human, that every sleepless night, bleeding nipple, and tear shed becomes so worth it.
Thanks so much for sharing in pregnancy with me. I loved sharing every minute of this with you! If you'd like to read about our first week home, click the link to your left!
Until Next Time,