Today will be one of those posts I know won't be read a whole lot. Nothing to "pin" and nothing to "do yourself" just some real life emotions i'm feeling as of late. As since this is my blog, and I do what I want, let the word vomit begin.
I can't believe i'm getting married in 29 days. Jake asked me (7 years ago) to just go on ONE date with him almost 20 times before I finally said yes. I was not feeling it. I can't even imagine if I hadn't said yes. Loving him was the best decision I ever made. There isn't a better man out there. Through ever flaw, he loves me, and through every one of his flaws, I recognize just how perfectly imperfect he is. I'm the luckiest human in the world, just to get to hold on to that love for the next 80 years.
Now that we have that mush out of the way (and i've got a few tears in my eyes...back off....this lady is an emotional roller coaster and you never know which one you're going to get at any given moment) I can't grasp that a year and half of planning this wedding is coming to and end. (you can read our proposal story here)
I'm the girl who started planning her wedding in Kindergarten. No Joke, I remember moving my bed in my bedroom in middle school, and creating an "aisle" for me to walk down, while playing Shania Twains "From This Moment" on repeat. That girl. This day is such a dream come true to me. From my amazing friends and family who have put in hours of work to help me make it perfect, to mama and papa Helm for funding the shindig, to the most amazing in-laws a chick could ask for, sending us on a trip of a lifetime for our honeymoon. My bachelorette party and wedding shower were literally a different level of special for me. Oh and a giant shoutout goes to Grandma Helm for just being my best friend in the whole world and being my sidekick through all of this. Blessed. I find myself saying "is this my life?! Is this really happening?!" on the daily. I seriously feel like Kim Kardashian status, without the ugly crying and horrible fiance. Okay, maybe a little ugly crying.
Oh and on changing my name...I all but broke down when I couldn't figure out what I would change my instagram name to. (remember, emotional roller coaster) Every version of Kylie Rose is taken. I'm really going to miss being Kylie Helm. I love being a Helm. I can't wait to be a Rose, what an exciting chapter to jump into. But Helm is deep in my heart. Any other ladies have that weird feeling? I'm all for changing my name, but I do feel like i'm dropping "old Kylie" in the process. This is a touchy subject in our household, but I thought I needed to blurt it out.
As the next 29 days fly by, which I know they will, I want to savor every last moment of the "planning." The truth is, we only have so many giant life milestones to dream about, and friends, this is a big one. I want to savor dreaming of that day, because it will only be a "dream" for 694 more hours, and then it's all just one big memory.
So there you have it. 5 paragraphs of word vomit on how emotional I am this month. Thank you all so much for sharing in this journey, and encouraging me along the way. This blog is my happy home because of each and every one of you. 20 million xo's.