For starters, you can put an embarrassing picture of him on your blog.
1) During a big game, make sure to dust the entertainment center. He needs to know this house won’t clean itself, and what better way to do it than in overtime 3 points down? I especially like to make a scene when he acts annoyed and say things like, “wow, I worked all week, and now you’re complaining that I am CLEANING!? I am SO unappreciated around here!” and then continue on with my dusting. Works like a charm.
2) Wait patiently for him to start a show, or movie without you. When he does, sit down next to him, and ask him a question about every.single.thing that happens. “Why is that guy so mad?”, “Well why did they kill him?” ,“I really don’t like this movie” , “she is way prettier than her, why did he do that again?, are they married? Wow they’d make a nice couple” Just for example..
3) On his day off, do your makeup in bed. This works especially well if you wake up at 5 am like I do. I am happy to turn on the light, set my multiple makeup boxes right next to me, and go to town. Sometimes I’ll even give his nose a tickle with my blush brush while he sleeps. GOODMORNING HONEY!
4) Make him go grocery shopping with you, and take your sweet-ass time. He hates grocery shopping, so if I’m feeling like a little button-pushing, I decide TODAY is the day I need to know every ingredient in every thing we buy. “This has too much sugar, this doesn’t have enough, I can’t pronounce this, honey this is heavy can you pick it up”. Don’t forget to paint your nails before too, we cant be pushing around a cart with a fresh mani.
5) On your dinner night out, when he asks what you want for dinner say, “anything you want sweetheart, I don’t care” and when he suggests something make a disgusted face and say “no I don’t really feel like that”, and continue through all his suggestions. After he is 3 seconds from getting brains on your living room couch, go back to suggestion #1, and say “that sounds great, I’m starvin’ lets go!”